Is Sleepio helping you become a kinder person?

Hi, I've just started the program and it's really nice having the Prof and his computer program to help me, also having a community to make friends in is even better :)

I just wondered if due to the sleep improvements from the program, people have noticed a general increase in any of the following, (relative to before when they had poorer sleep),

- You generally want the people you see around you to be happy/well, and you find it easier to interact benevolently, e.g. to be cheerful/make people smile?

- You feel you want to help people you see who are sad/have problems, and you spontaneously try to find ways/take actions to make people feel better?

- You spontaneously share other peoples happiness, and empathise and rejoice when you notice good things happening to people around you.

- You treat people more equally/fairly and feel calm and balanced when unexpected or unpleasant things happen.

Posted 17 Sep 2015 at 4:32 PM
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Comments

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    Guess this is a research not a member question? I already did mindfulness and compassion practice of a kind and did not find an increase in my compassion, but did find the exponential increase in suffering I was in contact with through Sleepio, compared with in my life and work face to face (I don;t do social media) a worry for a while and it gave rise to some interesting new considerations. I would find myself quite worried about someone I didn;t know and on the other hand had thoughts they may not even be what I was perceiving online. (In other contexts this phenomenon has involved cases of psychological abuse.) I now realise this complexity could be why some people don;t use the community, and use Sleepio individually. I don;t find the online form to be full social contact so have not noticed an increase in my kindness but maybe some of these thoughts relate to your question?

  • Sleepio Member

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    Session 1

    Hi Sleepsound, t

    hanks for taking the time to comment in the discussion. The question is actually related to my personal mediation practice, which is based a lot around promoting the 4 immeasurable's also called the Brahmavihara's

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmavihara

    Sorry to hear that the posts in the Sleepio community cause you empathic suffering. It's also my experience that reading people's descriptions of their suffering is hard, as it's really difficult to help them through these forums. To be honest I've had conversations with friends who are involved with psychological counselling and none of them have been able to help their patients through online conversations, as much as with their face-to-face conversations. So don't feel down as even the experts have problems with online contact.

    I was just wondering if you've noticed an increase in kindness you feel and express to others in your face-to-face life?

  • Sleepio Member

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    in reply to Sleepio Member
    Graduate

    Hi Ajay, I didn;t know of the Brahmaviharas, thanks. Looking them up, those are exactly what I have hoped to increase through Nonviolent Communication and Focusing which I've been practising for some years. They are both consistent with each other and with Buddhist attitudes and many Buddhists use them on top of Buddhist practice. So in answer to your question I'm not aware of Sleepio increasing my compassion or kindness in addition to that but suppose we can;t tell where change comes from. I am kinder than a decade ago! Do you attribute any increase in kindness in you to doing Sleepio?

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    Since starting Sleepio and, specifically, sleeping better, I have definitely had a better, more patient attitude. While I always tried to be my happy normal self with insomnia, having quality sleep makes it easier to be yourself. With more sleep…quality sleep I am a happier person in general. Good luck with the program…it is not easy, but it is worth the hard work!

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    Hi everyone. I just wanted to say YES and thank you Sleepio & community. Thank you

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    No, Sleepio is not making me a kinder person.
    However fatigue and sleep problems do make me infinitely nastier to others and less fun to be with than I usually am.

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    I was scared of not being able to sleep which made me a little impatient with my family, but since I have recovered from insomnia and sleep every night I definitely have more energy and can cope better with whatever life throws at me.

    I think sleepio is brilliant and I personally needed the community to help me along and I am really grateful to the sleepios that helped me. I Had never done any social media before, but I am glad I did with the community as they were a great help to me especially with encouragement to continue with the course, which seemed to take its time working on me!

    Ve

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    A kinder person is not even the half of it. I really could not respond to this question when it was first asked. I was always on edge, trying to power nap for 10 mins all day long, cranky, snappy with my kids and irritated towards my husband.

    Its been a long journey doing this sleep study. I am learning techniques to help relax me, sticking to the schedule as much as possible on here, and the relax after each breath out really helps.

    I am going to have to admit the relaxation audio download has helped me to fall asleep within the first 15 minutes each night! So, am I a kinder person? I would like to think so. I am more active with my children and not resentful of them wanting more of my time. I have more energy at work.

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    I don't think Sleepio/ sleeping better is helping me to be a kinder or more compassionate person.

    But I have found that improved sleep has helped me process information faster so there's less confusion and thus I can respond with compassion faster.

    Hope that helps.

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    Yes, it has made me a kinder person --- I particularly notice that I have become more patient with myself and it is translating to patience and compassion to others. I suppose, as I learned to accept myself as “in process”, I can also accept others where they are.

    I am sleeping better as a result. Thanks to sleepio for helping me.

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    I noticed that since I graduated this Spring I have been more patient with family, friends and people in general with a better quality/quantity of sleep. I do notice however the off nights when I do get less sleep, I become more frustrated and emotional in the later afternoon/early evening. I love that Sleepio helped me with my racing thoughts and how to become less stressed in the middle of the night.

    I hope to encourage others and support them when they have concerns.

    Hugs, Stacey

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    I've definitely stopped worrying about my sleep as much. Has this translated into kindness? Probably at some point. I don't see a direct correlation, but I'm much happier, so…probably. Hope this helps!

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    My husband says I'm a lot happier and far less snappy since the Sleepio programme has improved my sleep.

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    Hi everyone,
    Yes, I am a better person now that I have managed to get to sleep when I get to bed, thanks too engaging with the Sleepio programme.

    What I mean by a better person is that I can engage with tasks, including thinking activities and exercise, not to mention other people in my life because I now get to sleep straight away when I go to bed. So, I do consider myself far more compassionate.

    My problem now is learning to remain asleep for longer periods. Only then will I think of myself very compassionate to my fellow humans.

    Great course Sleepio

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    Hello,

    Sadly I can say both positive and negative things about myself with my own plan. Things aren't easy for me as I work an evening shift job and a day weekend shift job.

    To start it off, I am more of a jerk than ever. I have been trying desperately to be kind but outside events such as my good friend disrupting even back stabbing on helping a woman on a yard project job went sour this week. Supposedly, I was to take him to the job site and I did but he choose to turn the other way while taking me down his corridor of depression from his SO cheating on him. NOT a pleasant day.

    As for myself, my relationships are train wrecking and I am now needing an outside specialist who can help me become a much more kinder person.

    Sure the sleep plan is one thing I look forward but I can't meet all my goals on my list amidst working two jobs, taking my SO to work and home, and finding times for dates on the weekends. I been trying to fit my sleep towards the 90% goal but I am staying within 80% by heading to bed at 11:30 except on date nights that tend to be past Midnight hence 2-3AM!!! I haven't been to the gym in ages so I need some thing to kick my butt in Gear!!!

    My mind been racing even spiraling towards DEPRESSION!!!! I feel I can't stop this train wreck from happening and it is speeding up to the wreck!!!! Seldom, do I feel positive and this week's (Week # 4) hit it HOME and hit it Hard with me!!!! Maybe just maybe I can pull out of this slump.

    Any help is much appreciated.

  • Sleepio Member

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    in reply to Sleepio Member
    Graduate

    Hi MRWolf

    It’s amazing I’ve found your message at all because as you can see, this stream about becoming a kinder person doesn’t get many visitors.

    It looks as though you were on Sleepio from May-November last year. Did it help you with your sleep problems? Have your circumstances changed for the worse since then (relationships, two jobs, depression, feeling out of control with your life)?

    I can salvage a bit of positivity from your post: you’re looking forward to ‘the sleep plan’ (is that Sleepio?) and you’re managing to get 80% sleep efficiency (a very good score), and you’re recognising the importance of taking action over your health. I see that as something to springboard from as you work towards recovering from this negative period you’ve got stuck in. If you can’t fit the gym back into your life just now, could you do some regular exercise at home? Start with a small achievable goal which only takes a few minutes on alternate days, eg walking briskly up and down the stairs 4 times then resting for 45 seconds then repeating it – or any other high intensity interval training activity – then gradually increase it. Most people restarting to get fit seem to agree that things improve noticeably within a few days … and you start to feel better about yourself and less hopeless.

    You mention needing an outside specialist to help you become kinder. Is that still at the idea stage or is it happening now? It may be so, but I would go for the self-help route in the first instance. A positive move would be to restart Sleepio with a new level of commitment and determination. I don’t know where you are with it since November, but relaunch all aspects of it as a priority. There would have to be sacrifices in terms of weekend dates or other activities, but it doesn’t last forever and you need a Plan to hang on to. Sticking like glue to the programme for a few weeks would get you into a sensible structured routine and give you more control over your life. Those around you would surely be supportive and would appreciate your intention/plan. A start on becoming kinder?

    Of course, I may be way off and please ignore me if so! But I’m an active presence in the sleepio community and read people’s many varied and difficult situations. So often they say how following the Sleepio programme has helped them not just find they sleep better, but how they have learned to handle anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, chaotic lifestyles etc etc. There’s a lot of empathy in the community as we all have something in common and want to help each other. So … I also suggest spending some time here. When you’ve filled in your sleep diary every morning, spend a few minutes reading other folks’ posts and respond if/when you feel touched. The kindness will be appreciated.

    I’m sorry to take so long over this! I do hope you find a way through this tricky moment in your life, and I think the fact you’ve come to Sleepio signals that you think addressing your sleep is going to help. I think that too and I wish you well. Don’t forget to look after yourself (your diet and exercise), and go for it Mr Wolf!

    jansy :)

    PS Try posting on your profile screen (blue button) next time. It’ll appear on the moving banner and get more replies.

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    Definitely have found the kindness of other people on the community website helpful these past six weeks. And though 'sharing' with strangers is not usually my thing, I've been prompted by my appreciation of the Sleepio community generosity and its helpfulness for me to communicate more myself, to 'give back.' As others have said in this discussion, when I sleep better I'm more open to others, less on edge and irritable, and I guess I could label that kindness!

  • Sleepio Member

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    Graduate

    I hope so- that would be a bonus to my goals. I’m relatively new to the program-so time will tell.

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